today’s vegetable

I never met Vic Chesnutt. I only saw him play once, and it was a wrong venue/wrong crowd/wrong night kind of show. I didn’t have any true connection to his music, but understood just how important it was by the way other people talked about it.

Vic was a friend of a friend.

A few days before Christmas, as Taryn and I were planning out our three year old daughter’s first real Christmas I heard that he was in trouble. In the hospital. In a coma. Probably not coming back. I asked Billy to keep me posted, because I knew it was hurting Kristin. He said he would and I went back to forging notes from Santa and spending time with my family.

On Christmas day I got a call that Vic had died. Billy and Kristin wanted to help and thought it would be a good idea to set up a page that could collect money for Tina, Vic’s wife. It was the middle of a holiday, I still had never met Vic, still had only seen him play once, and still wasn’t connected to his music. I said the only thing I could: “Of course I’ll help.” It was the only right thing to say, because somewhere in Georgia everything just changed. One life ended and a family changed forever. There’s a house that used to have Vic in it that needs to find a way to continue without him.

It costs a lot of money to bury a man. The mortgage and bills need to be paid, food bought, and all the things that keep parting us from our money are still there. Except Vic’s not. People are talking about medical expenses. That may be a huge factor, I honestly have no idea how that debt does or does not pass on. But I do know the pain of losing someone in your family, in your house. If there was something I could do to help make sure that pain isn’t compounded by gross financial burden I was damn sure going to do it. I know I hope someone would do the same for Taryn and the girls were I to die.

So on Christmas I found a half hour to put up a page to help the family of a friend of a friend. Kristin did all the hard work writing and Billy pulled everything together. Since then a thousand people have given something to the family. Seeing so many people pull together to make sure that Vic’s family doesn’t need to suffer any more than they already had is about as close to a miracle as I’ll ever recognize.

And on one final point I want to be very clear: we didn’t do this to raise money for a hospital. We’re raising money for a family. Every donation is being accounted for and all the money will go directly to Vic’s wife and dealt with exactly as she specifies.

 
You can leave a donation for Vic’s family here.

Every year you see dozens of best-of lists all essentially mirroring each other. That’s fine, I guess, but looking through my favorites for the year I realized that I’ve either got shit taste or there’s room for a few more records in the conversation. Going on the latter I’ve put together a list of favorites from 2009 that I feel everyone should listen to.

I’m unapologetic about the fact that most of these records are from friends, labels and managers I work with, or old comfort zones. That was my second realization: that I consume music close to me with more vigor than music from strangers. So this list isn’t intended to tear down the accolades for Fever Ray, The XX, or any of the bands who made great records on other year-end lists. This list is simply me recognizing the best of the music that’s filled my life and my playlist throughout the year.

This is the sound of my 2009.
 

Honorable Mention
Each of the list above wrestled a week or more of attention from me, sitting atop my playlist and serving as the go-to record for more obsessive plays than I’d like to admit. In a few cases I think they may have stolen attention from other great, deserving records. On that note there are a few other releases from 2009 that merit attention so in no particular order:

This is really a draft post that I had started writing the night before Clementine was born. Now six weeks later it’s been sitting here taunting me. Rather than try to pick up the moment and go I’m just posting the in-progress piece.

I’ve since picked it apart and transformed it into a more clinical onesheet for Xiu Xiu’s (amazing) upcoming release, Dear God, I Hate Myself. I’ll post that here sometime too, but I think this has more warmth, and speaks to that special bit inside of Jamie’s music that I’m always ranting about to friends and anyone who’ll listen…

Xiu Xiu is the reason I work so hard. Xiu Xiu makes me feel, makes me listen, helps me understand. Xiu Xiu inspires me to keep pushing through the lean times, to build something for the greater good, to do what little I can to help nurture the art that supports me. I could never pick a favorite artist, but without doubt Xiu Xiu is the most important band in my world.

Xiu Xiu revolves around Jamie Stewart and in song he covers topics headier than most would ever touch, ranging from abuse and sexuality to finding happiness and ethical dilemmas of a grandiose scale. All at once the music is philosophy, self-portrait, exploration, and bare honesty — but art above all else.

Most people that talk about Xiu Xiu start similarly, and end up speaking to the bravery of Jamie to deal with such hard issues, or they tell their own stories of pain and healing through the music he makes. Those stories are touching, they’re a perfect reaction to the art he creates, and I think they speak to the core of why people can embrace Xiu Xiu so wholeheartedly. They’re good stories, and work well in context.

But no. I don’t want to share my pain, it’s my own. And I don’t want to talk about what the music makes me feel, because that’s mine too. I want to talk about the music.

You see there’s a perception about Xiu Xiu that bothers me. People paint it as hard, for Xiu Xiu fans only, or as something that should be appreciated primarily on a philosophical level. Yes, the early albums were angular and biting. The music itself was more avant guarde, difficult to access and carrying a difficult message. But there was a seed there that’s grown into something very different.

The message has remained true, as has the craftsmanship and writing of the music, but there has been an evolution to a beautiful and rich sound wrapping the thoughtful message. Where before there was appreciation now there is love. Sometime around The Air Force a shift began and any fear of sounding too pop disappeared. The lingering gaps remained as did the sharp angles, but they served as accents to melodic times; punctuation to the ideas presented in the lyrics.

After The Air Force came Women As Lovers, well deserved on any best-of the 00′s lists and a true breakout album. The cover was uncomfortable yet beautiful, a testament to the design skill of Joe Stewart. I remember listening to the advance for the first time, almost nervous after seeing the art options. The first track, ‘I do what I want when I want,’ immediately signals a change. It’s bright, rich, and full of sound. The words challenge the music, revolving around lust versus love, truth versus desire, and elements of safety mixed with BDSM. The record continues on in fashion, simultaneously soothing and challenging — driven by the emotion and beauty of the music.

Here’s my larger point: Xiu Xiu will challenge you and force you to look inside yourself, but you’re also going to get lost in the music. It’s passionate, it’s energetic, it moves and can move you. Go get the music however you can. Listen to it, please. You might not love it all, but I think it’s clearly recognizable as art, as important, and as something that needs to be made.

So ask me why I do this and my answer is Xiu Xiu.

I work too much, I earn too little, but I love my life and have happiness beyond my wildest dreams. On a day like today it’s all I can do to stop myself from shouting “thank you” and “I love you” to the moon.

So hello little Clementine, you’re beautiful like your mother and your sister. I’m going to keep working hard every day to show you the right way to live. And short of that I’ll show you love and you can figure out all the small details yourself.

The last week has brought a sick toddler, a very tired pregnant Taryn, another artist project launched, 5 new raffle items to the CASH fundraiser, and a lot of time on the phone. I’ve fallen off the one-a-day pace I was aiming for. There’s a lot on my mind, but very little time right now. It looks like the first very minor contractions may have begun, so I’m giving that time to Taryn.

It’s inelegant, but I wanted to post a quick list of the high points and descriptions of the posts that are sitting partially done in my drafts folder:

• Only 1 week left in the CASH fundraiser. It looks like that week might welcome a new addition to the von Doom clan, so I may be uncharacteristically quiet. Anything anyone can do to spread the word is welcome and truly appreciated.
• The new Kristin Hersh track, ‘Flooding,’ is a beautiful and moving piece of music. I’m not just saying that because it’s Kristin — it’s really genuine, special, and really wonderful to get lost in.
• Blog post: review of Fleurs by Former Ghosts. Another album I’m currently in love with. I’ll post details soon, but this record has been played on a near daily basis since I first heard an advance. There are a lot of records about love or pain, but Fleurs somehow captures something in between them. It’s music about young love, still present but without focus. Pain and joy. It’s a haunting record, but somehow catchy and bordering on synth pop. Take everything I love about Vince Clarke and combine it with my favorite moments from Xiu Xiu.
• Speaking of Xiu Xiu, another blog post: why I think Xiu Xiu is the most important band in the world, or at least my world.
• Blog post: Deerhoof. Simply put they’re amazing, yet still stuck with some sort of ‘weird’ label by the mainstream. The thing lost on so many people is what a great rock band they are. I’m clearly priming for a long impassioned rant, but just watch this to get a feel: Deerhoof covering Pinhead. Wait for the guitars at the very end. There’s a depth and detail that’s stunning.

Okay, that’s all for now. More on the way.

I first met Rob Fisk maybe six years ago. The details have faded, but it was Marisa that introduced us. There are shreds of a memory hinting towards a Seven Year Rabbit Cycle record, but what I remember most was his label Free Porcupine Society and the amazing handmade packaging he created.

Rob and I don’t really know each other aside from mutual friends, but he was the first person I thought of when we thought to do art prints as a part of the CASH fundraiser. There’s something so sincere and really wonderful about his art — from the early Deerhoof covers to the subtle prints he makes. (The JPEGs do them no justice.) His care and craft come through in all his work.

I’ll stop here. The best I can do is to show his art and let it speak for itself:

Rob plays music as Common Eider, King Eider and has also been a member of Deerhoof, Seven Year Rabbit Cycle, and others.